Prompt: Tell of a characters first brush with danger. This first draft has been removed as it has been chosen to be included in my 2008 Anthology and is under consideration for inclusion on a collaborative one with Jodi and Paul.
Man, this is grim. The raw language and cadence really make your stomach churn at what's happening. I think I may go read the FF about the magazine contest and the Fuller brush sale to Mrs. Danger again, just to cheer up.
This is wonderfully written, very vivid. I love the idea that you never really full explain to the audience the entire situation -- horrible sexual experience yes, but was it rape? The ending is brilliant. How many women have said that very thing -- now it's over the next time will be better. Great job.
This is raw. So raw it pulls your insides through you. It saddens me that this is what a girl's passage into womanhood is.
And it's the small details that do it -the poster on the wall, the XXXX sign Anita can see flashing because they dont change, they can't change but Anita can and does.
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6 comments:
Ughh... what a truly terrible experience to undergo. I'm glad I missed this in some ways.
This poor girl. Very good piece though.
Man, this is grim. The raw language and cadence really make your stomach churn at what's happening. I think I may go read the FF about the magazine contest and the Fuller brush sale to Mrs. Danger again, just to cheer up.
As a man that left me feeling almost ashamed of my sex. Your desciption was so vivid and so full of emotion.
This is wonderfully written, very vivid. I love the idea that you never really full explain to the audience the entire situation -- horrible sexual experience yes, but was it rape? The ending is brilliant. How many women have said that very thing -- now it's over the next time will be better. Great job.
This is raw. So raw it pulls your insides through you. It saddens me that this is what a girl's passage into womanhood is.
And it's the small details that do it -the poster on the wall, the XXXX sign Anita can see flashing because they dont change, they can't change but Anita can and does.
A awesome second posting Annie!
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