Thursday, January 24, 2008

First brush

Prompt: Tell of a characters first brush with danger.

This first draft has been removed as it has been chosen to be included in my 2008 Anthology and is under consideration for inclusion on a collaborative one with Jodi and Paul.

These will be available here - so do pop over!

6 comments:

Square1 said...

Ughh... what a truly terrible experience to undergo. I'm glad I missed this in some ways.

jadey said...

This poor girl. Very good piece though.

pjd said...

Man, this is grim. The raw language and cadence really make your stomach churn at what's happening. I think I may go read the FF about the magazine contest and the Fuller brush sale to Mrs. Danger again, just to cheer up.

keith hillman said...

As a man that left me feeling almost ashamed of my sex. Your desciption was so vivid and so full of emotion.

Chris said...

This is wonderfully written, very vivid. I love the idea that you never really full explain to the audience the entire situation -- horrible sexual experience yes, but was it rape? The ending is brilliant. How many women have said that very thing -- now it's over the next time will be better. Great job.

Jodi Cleghorn said...

This is raw. So raw it pulls your insides through you. It saddens me that this is what a girl's passage into womanhood is.

And it's the small details that do it -the poster on the wall, the XXXX sign Anita can see flashing because they dont change, they can't change but Anita can and does.

A awesome second posting Annie!