Friday, May 23, 2008


Conspinki is a made up word. Create a meaning and use it in your story.....

Helen looked skywards breathing in the atmosphere. The sunshine bathed her bare arms and midrift as she lounged on the grass. The thronging crowds, infused with music, grappa and far too much ouzo, cheered loudly as the next Conspinky contestant entered the stage.

“Here, a meze platter full of your favourites.” Colin flumped down ungainly beside her, handing her a polystyrene plate threatening to spill over at any moment.

“Yum, Dolmades, Spanakopita, Skordalia, Kalamarakia, Saganaki. Hey where is my grilled Octopus?” She demanded.

They were going to take another 20 mins and I didn’t want to wait that long and miss out on the Conspinky heats.

“What? You’re not seriously watching that are you? It’s the dumbest event at this festival. Come on, lets go and watch the Zorba Dance off.” Helen scornfully said.

Defensively, Collin replied, “Now you are the one that’s got to be kidding. Anyone can Zorba, but it takes endurance, aptitude and special training to be a true Conspinky Champ.”

“Oh please Colin. Don’t make me laugh. I could beat any one of them with my eyes closed.” Helen boasted.

“What? You. No way. I can’t imagine you .. ummm.”. he trailed off. Colin looked at his petite housemate, delicately picking through the platter of offerings he had brought and shook his head. The thought was incomprehensible. Last years champion had been a six foot five hulking greek god of a man.

Helen continued with her mouth full. “I mean , don’t get me wrong, I love conspinky as much as the next person. But to make it into a competition that attracts this much attention is just ridiculous. What gets me is that there is never any female contestants. I mean, women have as much right as men.”

Colin grunted. “I dunno, problem something to do with the ancient Greek Olympics and stuff. You know – when only men could compete. Why don’t we find out? They are still taking on names for the heats.”

“Oh no, I was only kidding. I don’t want to make a spectacle of myself. All that contest stuff is just stupid anyway.” Helen quickly backpedaled.

However, Colin was on a roll. “Oh no Helen, I think its your time to shine – come on I’m going to put your name down – or are you chicken?”

Helen finished off her Meze Platter. “ Its not fair – I have just eaten. I can’t compete when I am full.” However, she meekly followed Colin to the stage where other contestants were milling round readying themselves for the heats. Helens name was added at the last moment and Colin gave her the thumbs up.

Colin whispered out of the corner of his mouth “They look like they have been getting ready for this contest all year.” She looked at her opponents with a grim smile. They all looked very experienced.

To Colins amazement and disbelief, Helen sailed through the heats and battled her way into the finals. She took each round with a calm determination, staring the other contestants down before she began each contest.

The finals were announced and the crowd, full of ouzo and baklava gave Helen and her opponent a roaring welcome.

She took her place on a her seat in the middle of the stage and stared long and hard at the mountainous task in front of her.

Her mantra “ Be at one with the conspinki,” repeated over and over in her head until the referees whistle numbed all thoughts and she found her zone.

“Conspinki, Love the Conspinki, Be with the Conspinki, I am the Conspinki”

Colins grasping hands at her waist and the referees whistle brought her back to the roaring crowds. Her opponent lay on the stage gasping and moaning. Suddenly he leapt up and rushed to the front of the stage, spraying vomit over the screaming throng.

“ Ah yes, that’s right folks, its not a true Conspinki contest until one of our finalists chucks it all up.” professionally commentated the presenter. “Ladies and Gentleman, our 2008 Conspinki Winner.”

He held Helens exhausted arm in the air. Her face was green.

“ Helen will receive a years supply of Conspinki, so give it up for our sponsers!”

The crowd screamed its enthusiasm for the love of the free flowing alcohol, the pumping music and the tiny raw fish dish - Conspinki.


Jodi Cleghorn said...

This is a unique take on a difficult word. Good thing you were at the Greek festival last week! And yeah - nothing like a good spew at an over eating competition.

Did I ever tell you that I was in a speed donut eating competition to celebrate Elvis's birthday? Cheered on by about 30 kids from my vacation care service. Urgh!

Daily Panic said...

Awe, what lengths we will go to champion over a male!
This was fun to read!

Ther said...

I enjoyed reading this piece. It got me thinking at the start what the deal is all about. Then when there was a hint that it's an eating contest, I automatically thought of hotdog! Surprise, surprise. It's a fish! Ha ha.

Vivienne said...

An eating contest, clever! I enjoyed your piece. And I agree with Jodi - the fish vomit was a nice finishing touch!

Wild Iris said...

This was a fantastic take on the prompt. I loved it!