Friday, March 7, 2008


Anissa scanned the sweeping grounds like a queen surveying her court. Her gaze confident, assured, and she allowed herself a wry smile. He’s out there. She could feel it. Would he come for her today?

She had taunted him, tortured him, teased him to almost to a dark despair. He was the strongest of her mates and had escaped the compound. “Damaged people are dangerous”, she thought, “they know how to survive.” She shivered with a mixture of dangerous delight and dread. Despite her impeccable defenses, she knew he would find a way in to kill her.

As a young girl, she had taken the traditional pilgrimage to the oracles to seek her future fortunes. They had showered praise and glory upon her. As she left, a voice from the shadows warned her of men. She remembered sneering, likening the danger of a man to that of a cockroach. Being the voice of one of the oldest oracles, Anissa had politely listened. The oracle had sworn that there was a time when men ruled much of the Known Universe. A ridiculous notion, as women held the power of creation within their bodies and therefore the ultimate power of life. Of course, even if she accepted the story of male dominance as a metaphor, she would be blaspheming, but the idea had always intrigued her.

She sighed, suddenly tired of this existence and illusion. Anissa was the most powerful Mother in Galax 5. Entire communities could be exterminated with one of her frowns. Unless she sought to usurp the Empress, she had reached the pinnacle of prestige and power. Bored, she had begun to be reckless with her mates. She cruelly tested her incarcerated mates seeking reality and truth. Each had failed, until one of her new mates, brought in from a distant planet, defied her. His eyes dark with fury which would have bested the most powerful of her allies. She was bemused at his insolence, an unknown quality amongst the feeble minded male species. She had given him a free reign within certain boundaries, discovered that he had a sharp mind and could speak on most subjects with the ease of a highly placed woman in any court of the Known Universe.

Anissa clenched her fist, remembering being angry at him for stealing her power. His mere presence in the room would distract her thoughts and she could feel her strength ebbing away. She believed he drew on the godly powers beyond science and had punished him cruelly; sobbing behind the door with every blow struck to his body. And yet, he remained insolent and silent.

She gently stroked the glass window in front of her and breathed out, misting the highly polished surface. “ You’re here.”

Anissa turned on her heel and swept past her fawning servants. She had no time for the weak or subservient. She intended to dress in her most beautiful gowns and await the dance of death he had promised her.


PJD said...

Nice images, and interesting world you're building. Scifi romance fusion?

If I might offer a bit of constructive criticism, I think this could benefit from more show and less tell, especially in the paragraph that begins "She sighed..." There's so much backstory wrapped up in that paragraph, though, it almost begs for a whole bunch of scenes to be written!

Nice work.

Kerri W said...

Hi Annie

I loved the line, “Damaged people are dangerous, they know how to survive.”

My personal opinion is that your story built too much for a short story. You've got the start of an epic there.

Unknown said...

thanks guys!! yes you are right - it has so much more to explore.. and its hard to stop explaining background stuff when it just keeps coming...
big smile s- I LOVE Constructive Criticism.. I really appreciate that.