Prompt: The keys opened every door in the house, except the small wooden on at the end of the hall.
This story has been removed for further editing and refining.. Hopefully it will be submitted to competitions and perhaps an Anthology...
thanks for popping by when it WAS up.. and leaving your comments
14 comments:
that was so hearbreaking. Great job!
A parent's worst nightmare chillingly told. I like the way you drew in response to the prompt and that then formed your own personal prompt.
Like the car driver who takes a risk that kills their passenger but not them or the person who leaves a tool out that seriously injures someone not watching where they walk, one wonders how those whose momentary inattention leads to such grief deal with the aftermath. Great writing.
The topic is such a gut wrenching one for any parent and it was carefully woven to give that insight into a parent's mind. It breaks my heart.
The imagery of the hospital provided a great contrast to the emotion and state of mind of the main character and her perception of people's response to her.
Damn Annie, I had to catch my breath by the end. What a frightening tale. I think two people died that day.
That's so horribly touching. It's written so well I actually want to cry now.
Very lyrical and chilling at the same time. Very sad because it is very real.
great job with the prompt. Heartwrenching
Oh, no-- it's made all the more tragic that she was trying to be responsible, environmentally. What a heartbreaking story. And nicely written in the dreamlike way it reveals everything.
Great piece. I like the way it gradually becomes clear what happened without it being explained literally. This is something I have trouble with.
My story can be found at: http://angelsscribblings.blogspot.com/2010/03/through-new-eyes.html
You've painted the tragedy very well; such things do happen, and they are an everyday kind of horror.
I enjoyed how you worked the environmental cause into the story. That really makes it hit home with the reader since so many people nowadays want to "go green." Nice!
I think this is my first visit to your turf dear lady. This was heart-wrenching, detailed and just about perfect. Excellent, excellent job here.
Powerful punch this story packs. Well done!
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