Thursday, August 6, 2009

LillylollyLous Operatic Moment

Prompt: Set your story at the Opera.

This weeks challenged screamed "Dr Seuss" to me and part way through I was sorry I listened. There is a reason that particular gentleman was famous and revered as a wordsmith. Still, true to my word of exploring new genres and styles of writing, I am submitting this week and wanting to hide.

In the kingdom of Singalingalongsu
Where plumbers were few
But pianos and opera houses were plenty
A wee pink lass lived at number twenty
She was as cute as could be
But a problem you see
Not a note of opera could she sing

For in the Kingdom of Singalingalongsu, the only way they could speak
Was through operatic tones; every one strong and never weak
Great halls had been built across the nation
For concerts and performances on constant rotation
But poor Lillylollylou never quite got the technique
And her class mates teased her about her squeaky shriek

Miss Lillylollylou so sad and so down
After another day at being the class clown
Sat at the fountain and began to cry
How I wish I could sing, I try and I try
but my voice is so thin you see
they all call me a banshee
I wonder can she
Sing any better than me?

A passing Umfalutumfious bird upon hearing her piteous cry
Stopped short, turned wing and soared downward on a tactical fly by
He settled on down beside the weeping miss
And asked, why do you cry as you do?
Don’t you know that this fountain
With water Filled up from the mountain
will be soon be clogged with salt?
And it’ll be all your fault.


I cannot utter a note of opera and am useless in this land
I cannot sing everyone but I have spot in the band
And now at our big end of year concert my teacher has cut
my performance piece to just one line and it contains ‘but’

The kind Umfalmufious bird twisted about
From his tail a tiny feather he plucked out
And grasped in his beak he then dropped it at her feet
“Hold this in your hand as you next go to sing
much luck and joy it will bring
I think you’ll find your voice will be much improved
And your classmates removed
Instead of you, as you fear.

But to be sure that my precious feather takes hold magically
You must practice these scales four times a day or tragically
What voice you have will be gone.
So for a week from dusk to dawn
Practice hard and practice long

So Lillylollyou took the feather and thanked him
Practiced her scales in the bathroom, in the hall, in the kitchen and at night
In the field and milking cows and flying her kite
All the time griping the feather tight
Keeping her dream in sight

The concert day came and all were excited
Important folk had all been invited
Bustling and boastful her classmates sneered
Whats with the feather you look so weird

Lillylollylou smiled quietly and pressed her feather into her palm
Throughout the opera she remained so calm
As the production wound its way to her small solo,
The band were instructed to follow
And as other singers cringed and blocked their ears awaiting the noise
But instead when Lilylollylou opened her mouth with poise,
The sweetest voice, pure and strong
Her one lined note strung out long

She sang her line as perfectly as any
Everyone stopped Everyone listened
Champagne glasses swirled as they glistened
Everyone in Singalingalong heard the voice.
Its clarity alone a reason to rejoice
Faced with the silence she looked about her
All were astounded at such a note to occur

One stood to clap her and then another
Her mother, her father and then her brother
Soon the whole hall, filled with their cheers
And never again did she suffer their jeers


9 comments:

Annie Evett said...

note to self... don't try poetry OR Dr Seuss for a LONG time....

Ronda Levine said...

I know you're feeling iffy about this, but I really liked it. I thought it was really creative and I got a kick out of it. Thanks for exploring the Dr. Seuss-esque style.

As a side note, I wrote a poem the other day with a rhyme scheme and I had an aversion to it. Funny how that works...

Uncle Tee said...

Congrats for trying something new. I thought it was pretty good. The story was solid and the rhyming wasn't bad. Certainly had a Dr Suess feel. Bet it was fun though.

Mine:
http://uncleteebooks.blogspot.com/2009/08/fiction-friday-august-7-2009.html

Anonymous said...

Hi Annie- I thought this was quite clever. It is not easy to do rhyming like that! It flowed great and I sympathized with your character since I too cannot sing a lick. You really poured that out without editing!? I think you are very talented!

Anonymous said...

I didn't mean to be anonymous! I am Tiffany! Here's my sumission for Fiction Friday:http://itallmeanssomething.wordpress.com/fiction-friday/challenge-2/

Chris Chartrand said...

Don't be so hard on yourself. I actually quite liked this piece and found myself imagining what the pictures would be like if it were a Dr. Seuss book.

My story this week presented the same problem for me. I went with an idea that I thought was great then halfway through had no way to end it and ended up slightly embarrassed with the outcome.

Isn't that what writing prompts are supposed to do, force us out of our comfort zone a little and help us grow. Great Job.

Tessa said...

Well done, Annie! I loved reading your piece. When will I be able to write you do? *sigh*

Anyways, I too agreed that this week's FF prompt was very challenging that I almost gave it up myself!

However, I managed to submit it with my trembling and sweating body for I'm not so confident about it - I still have so.. much to learn..

here it is: http://tyuditha.wordpress.com/2009/08/08/her-nose/

naturalelegance said...

Annie - The names and the story line are very much like Seuss although the actual rhythm of the lines is a bit too long to be truly Suess-esque. Despite that, the poem flowed smoothly and I found myself rooting for Lolli to finally sing!

Kudos to you for 1) actually attempting Seuss-like poetry, and 2) posting it for review on the Internet!

writechronicles said...

Okay, that was posted under my WAHM blog instead of my writing blog (Write Chronicles). Sorry about that!