Prompt: Tell of a characters scar. This first draft has been removed as it has been chosen to be included in my 2008 Anthology and is under consideration for inclusion on a collaborative one with Jodi and Paul.
This was a well written and provocative piece. Having been through post partum depression I can understand her sentiments, though mine strayed to the other end of the spectrum. One suggestion I migh give, is to attach a bit of a warning for women who are going through Postpartum depression or OCD. A piece like this can be a severe trigger.
Just so you know, I sighed in relief when she sat down to the picnic at the end. PHEW!
This goes straight to the dark heart of motherhood. The feelings of imprisonment,loneliness and estrangement from Self, of being out of control but apparently 'in control'.
This made my blood run cold and my empathy run deep.
The imagery is sharp (no pun intended) and the alternation between the 'slick, slack' and splash pour was brilliant - the sounds of normalcy for each of the players in this story.
This site is used to capture first drafts of Flash Fiction.
Any deemed worthy enough of a second glance will be pulled down to polish and hone to present to my editors and beta readers; and then perhaps submitted to competitions, anthology call outs or the like.
Your feedback and constructive criticism is always welcome.
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2 comments:
This was a well written and provocative piece. Having been through post partum depression I can understand her sentiments, though mine strayed to the other end of the spectrum. One suggestion I migh give, is to attach a bit of a warning for women who are going through Postpartum depression or OCD. A piece like this can be a severe trigger.
Just so you know, I sighed in relief when she sat down to the picnic at the end. PHEW!
This goes straight to the dark heart of motherhood. The feelings of imprisonment,loneliness and estrangement from Self, of being out of control but apparently 'in control'.
This made my blood run cold and my empathy run deep.
The imagery is sharp (no pun intended) and the alternation between the 'slick, slack' and splash pour was brilliant - the sounds of normalcy for each of the players in this story.
Is Monica sated now that her story has been told?
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