Sunday, April 8, 2012

Elevator of Despair FGC (2012) #9

Solid green metal doors screeched their way open, displaying war wounds with stoic pride. Its insides dank and uninviting; promised delivery to a destination reachable exclusively through this minion of misery. Scraped by rushing, scratched with hate, pawed with despair, bruised in depression.

 Dirty metal bleed into non committal corridors. Musty, antiseptic boiled cabbage smells snake their way through the cracks. My nose wrinkles, brow knitting as I realise that it hadn’t been on the menu for over 20 years.

 The metal box clunks and clatters in its unsteady fashion on its laboured journey upward. Shimmering and shaking, it porpoises to a stop. Its purpose achieved.

 Those oppressive doors wearily slide open to reveal a lone nurse, heavily muscled, eyes alert gesturing to the sign in register. A frayed string holds a blunt pencil. Pens would be too dangerous , too sharp, too easily pilfered and hidden for an opportune time to strike.

 Carpets sticky, worn and depressed fight the mismatched furniture bolted to the floor. Plastic chairs stacked high as a castle in the middle of the room threaten to topple; locked in a battle with gravity. The television blaring, barely covering the canned laughter echoed by uncertain participants in their desperate attempt to connect to any form of reality. Eyes staring seeing nothing. My sister doesn’t know me today.

  XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

This was written in response to Write Anything's Form and Genre Challenge ,  Vignette

This was submitted for #9 of FGC. 

Word Count - 220


This  was also submitted to Friday Flash.

6 comments:

sell my house said...

Thank you Annie Evett.Your thinking is good.I truly appreciate you.sell my house

Storm Dweller said...

The imagery in this is so intense. I was hanging on every word.

Adam Byatt said...

Such a strong emotional pull here, Annie. Think I've been to those places.
Adam B @revhappiness

JM Merchant said...

Wow! What a poignant piece of writing. And so sad. Well done Annie.

ganymeder said...

I think I like this one best so far. So concise, yet with emotional punch.

Tim VanSant Writes said...

Nicely done. I love the way the last line brings everything to a halt.